Start small. Don’t jump into the negotiations with the biggest item on your list. You will only end up overwhelming the other side and will actually decrease the likelihood of getting what you want. Start with a few of the easy things on your list. This is a great way to break the ice and create a common ground for moving forward. As you reach agreement on smaller issues, each subsequent discussion will go a little easier.
Know when to bring up the big issues. Don’t overwhelm the other parties with a list of a million small details. Save some of them for the end of the negotiations. If you do too many small issues first, by the time you get to the larger, more important items on your list, the other party will feel like they have already given too much and will be much less likely to want to help you achieve your large goals.
Don’t just focus on yourself. As you work through the process, you will need to continually listen to the other side. This will provide an opportunity for you to find out their big issues.  If you don’t pinpoint and address their main goals, you will constantly run into roadblocks when trying to accomplish your own list of goals.
By creating an environment of give and take, each side will be much more willing to listen to the others goals and needs.
Come back to some of the smaller issues. After you wrap up the larger issues, you can go back to the smaller, unresolved issues on your list.  After reaching an agreement on each party’s main goal, the smaller objectives won’t present a problem.     Source: Marc Freeman, author of “Renegotiating with Integrity: It’s Not Business, It’s Personal,” has worked with companies across the globe, helping to renegotiate hundreds of millions of dollars in contracts.  ]]> http://www.execmagazine.com/the-art-of-negotiation/feed/ 0 http://www.execmagazine.com/freedom-use-it-or-lose-it/ http://www.execmagazine.com/freedom-use-it-or-lose-it/#comments Sun, 01 Jul 2007 21:43:23 +0000 admin http://www.execmagazine.com/freedom-use-it-or-lose-it/ This week, Americans celebrate our declaration of independence from British rule back in 1776. In the midst of the fireworks and ball games, we forget how courageous the signers of the Declaration of Independence truly were. By signing their names, they risked their lives for values and a vision they believed in.

It has always seemed to me that July 4th really ought to be a day for affirming our values and our highest aspirations.

In fact, let me re-phrase it for emphasis:

One of the great failures of modern life is that so many of us do not USE the freedom we have to create the life we want.

Take a moment to consider the freedoms you have right now:*** You have access to a world of education and ideas
*** Your public library has the greatest books ever written
*** You can live anywhere on earth
*** You can live with (or without) anyone you please
*** You can learn as much as you like
*** You can earn as much as you like
*** You can CREATE as much as you like!

And yet, as Thoreau wrote over 150 years ago, too many of us continue to live lives of “quiet desperation.”

I am appalled at the number of Americans who live “paycheck to paycheck,” using credit cards to survive! We are the richest, most educated, most financially literate people in history! Why do we live this way?

I am appalled at the number of people who do work they find boring or unsatisfying. You can change careers with a bit of education, a bit of networking, a bit of effort, and while millions of us “start over” every year, others stay in unsatisfying situations year after year after year. Why!?

I am appalled at the people who call or email me to say they have a dream they want to pursue, but they “can’t afford” a coach, or they “don’t know how to start,” or they “can’t rock the boat.” Folks, there are a million reasons to stay in a situation that is less than ideal – and if that is your choice I respect it – but don’t use the excuse that you “can’t” change it! That’s just wrong!

This week, we celebrate our “Independence Day!” We are also starting the second half of the year.

PLEASE – take time to review your most important goals, your highest aspirations and your biggest dreams, and if there are changes you want to make, then do so! If there are things you need to be doing, please begin.

Decide NOW to make the second half of 2007 your time of transformation and personal independence. Declare that you will USE your freedom to do what makes you happy, fulfills your destiny and gives meaning and purpose to your life. Do not “go to your grave with your music still inside you!”

I’m a firm believer in the power of small steps. It is rarely necessary to take big, dramatic (or risky!) steps, but it is always necessary to begin. Think clearly. Take notes. Talk with loved ones. Admit your dreams out loud, and if there are steps you need to take during the rest of 2007, start walking.

Source: http://www.philiphumbert.com  ]]> http://www.execmagazine.com/freedom-use-it-or-lose-it/feed/ 0 http://www.execmagazine.com/goal-setting-vs-direction/ http://www.execmagazine.com/goal-setting-vs-direction/#comments Wed, 13 Jun 2007 18:19:01 +0000 admin http://www.execmagazine.com/goal-setting-vs-direction/ We are goal-setting and goal-achieving creatures. Throughout our lives, human beings have lots of targets or benchmarks (“goals”) and we achieve most of them. As kids, we have goals to ride a bike or to stay up past 10:00, to get our first date, first kiss, first car. As adults, we save for our first home, and so on. Goals are good and we all have them.

For many people, goal-setting is the tool for achieving most of the big things in life. For them, goal-setting works almost every time. If they can define a goal to learn Spanish or buy a Mercedes, they can figure out a plan and make it happen. For them, goal-setting “makes sense” and I wish them well.

But, it doesn’t work that way for me, and I don’t think goals are the “tool of choice” for millions of other people, either. Call me crazy, but for some of us, direction is far more important than a specific goal.

For some of us, goals feel “heavy.” They’re too concrete and they seem limiting. They are too focused, too narrow, too linear.

My theory is that for people who tend to be more “left brain” (to use that clumsy analogy), goals are wonderful. People who tend to be engineers, who prefer logic and clear instructions and who enjoy following a good recipe, goals work well. As one client said, “It’s just logical!”

However, for those who are more “right brain,” goals are too logical. For those who prefer intuition and spontaneity, for people who find the music more important than the words, goals don’t always work. Sometimes we want to “wander around and enjoy the process.” That can drive goal-seekers (and our spouses!) bonkers, but it can be great fun!

So, here are two key points:

1. In any given situation, use the right tool for the job. When it’s important to arrive at a specific destination, set goals. But when the “goal” is to enjoy the journey, set a direction, stay the course, and see what happens. Sometimes it is important to actually hit a target (“increase sales by 10% or we’ll have to let you go”) and in those cases you need a clear goal, a specific plan, and daily action steps. But in other cases (“Let’s drive to the mountains and relax for the weekend.”) you just want a direction and some creativity.

2. In life, honor your personal style. Some people love setting goals, others don’t. If you’re a goal-setter, good for you! But if, like me, goal-setting is not your natural preference, consider this your official permission to stop using a tool that doesn’t suit you. Relax! Focus on your values, your desires and dreams, and trust your instincts. If you’re smart (and you are), if you work hard and keep moving, most of the time you’ll “get there” just fine.

Motivational speakers emphasize goals for good reason. Many things in life are linear and we need a great “map” or strategy to achieve them, step by step, over time. But when either the project or your personality prefers to set a direction and use your creativity, intuition and spontaneity to get the job done, trust that. The world needs us “artists” as much as it needs engineers.

Source: www.philiphumbert.com ]]> http://www.execmagazine.com/goal-setting-vs-direction/feed/ 0 http://www.execmagazine.com/beyond-eitheror-thinking/ http://www.execmagazine.com/beyond-eitheror-thinking/#comments Mon, 04 Jun 2007 20:10:26 +0000 admin http://www.execmagazine.com/beyond-eitheror-thinking/ Beyond Either/Or Thinking
by Kevin EikenberryWe can do Project A or Project B. Do you want more time or more money? You can have a great marriage and average career or average marriage and great career. I’ve got yellow or red, which do you want? Win or lose. Yes or no. The world is black or white. You can have this or that. Which do you prefer? We must choose.All of the statements and questions above are examples of either/or thinking. All of them pre-suppose that we live in a world bounded by the choice of either this or that – one or the other. These statements are founded on the belief that our world is limited. All of these choices are fundamentally rooted in the “lack mentality.”I believe there is another option. This option will give you more choices; it will improve your outlook and attitude and the quality of your life. (It also may contribute greatly to improving your standard of living).This second approach expands our thinking and is based on a belief that there is plenty in the world for everyone – plenty of time, opportunities, money, resources, people, fun, experiences. I call it “both/and” thinking. This mindset is rooted in the “abundance mentality.”Both/And?We started with eight either/or options. Let’s focus on just one (you can use the logic and approach on any of the others – or anything else in your life) and consider two project opportunities with a both/and mentality. Start by asking . . .  “How can we do both Projects A and B?” By asking the question you are challenging the underpinning of the lack mentality; by asking the question you are opening yourself to new possibilities. Don’t have enough people to do both projects? If both have a positive payoff, why not get some additional help either on the projects or on other work to free up time for the projects?Don’t have enough money to pursue both projects? What if you found a partner? Who else might benefit?I could continue, but you get the idea.At this point you may be thinking that if we keep saying “yes” we’ll never have any focus or achieve high quality results in the choices we make. Of course we still have to prioritize and make choices. The concept of both/and thinking is to open us up to more options and opportunities before immediately moving to making a choice between A or B.If you believe that the world is filled with many possibilities and that there are always more options to consider, then you will feel completely comfortable asking these sorts of questions. When we live in an either/or world, we are immediately settling for one or the other before we even consider that something more or different is possible.Keys to Both/And ThinkingThere are four keys to developing and using “both/and” thinking. Recognize that at the start (and in the end) utilizing this mental approach is a habit – a habit that you can nurture and develop.Believe in abundance. It starts with a belief that more is available to us – in terms of possibilities, resources, opportunities and approaches. When we believe this is true we will begin our search for more options.Operate on faith. Even if your belief in abundance isn’t yet strong, operate on faith. Have faith that it is true, even if you can’t see it or feel it yet.Ask the question. To see the options you have to ask the question, “why not both?” Or variations like, “How can we do both?” “What would we have to modify or adjust to achieve both of these?” “Why do we have to choose?” You get the idea.Consider the possibilities. Once you have asked the question, be open to the options and you’ll be amazed at how many will show up for you.What You Can Do NowYou are facing some situation right now. How are you thinking about it? Are you thinking either/or or both/and? If you are thinking either/or take the steps above – try both/and thinking.Challenge yourself (or your team) to exercise some both/and thinking. If you (or they) don’t believe it is possible, suspend judgment for a few minutes and just try the exercise.Trying it is the first step – and that is a step you can take right now.